My sentimental journey

An ordinary girl's walk with an extraordinary God.


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The Letter Part Two

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After posting “The Letter” I was asked if I would be willing to share some of its’ content and am happy to do so.  I’m still amazed at the power that one letter did to change the course of history for Kevin and me.  And yet I’m reminded that the Bible is filled with countless love letters signed with passionate devotion by our Heavenly Father. Each sealed by His promises and delivered to each of us for our personal deliverance and comfort.

God’s letters have touched my heart, healed my wounds, and guided me in my darkest hours. Before I wrote this letter Kevin confided in me that he was struggling with God being His best friend and worst enemy. While I did not have that particular struggle, I did struggle with trusting in people.  Kevin’s mom had a gracious trust in people which made it easier for him to see the best in others.  However, I was raised with a mother that loved God as her best friend, confident she could fully trust in Him, but with people not so much. Personal traumas resulting from the wrong choices of others made it easy to turn to God for both my mother and I.

A dovetail of freedom unfolded from this match made in Heaven, as I helped Kevin out of the black hole and seeing God as His BFF, he in turn has helped me to learn how to trust healthy people. Giving me vital connections that have blessed my live so richly.

Following are some excerpts from that letter.

“Kevin Honey, I pray with all my heart that the Holy Spirit will allow you to see the truth in God’s powerful words and truths that have stood the test of time and struggle. Therefore if any man be in Christ Jesus he is a new creature old things are passed away, behold all things become new.  God is never the author of bondage, wickedness or any other area of darkness. There is no bondage of darkness that Jesus Christ cannot break. This terrible bondage cannot be broken with good confession or good intentions, it cannot be broken with willpower. Only when we fully accept the great sacrifice paid at the cross, the blood of Christ breaks every bondage of darkness. Therefore, we can be totally confident of deliverance… set free by the power of His shed blood.   Pray in the blood of Jesus, He will set you free.  Remember this, it is truly the answer you have been searching for.”

Love you Always,Lisa

My letter was simply God’s truths handwritten with love and faith eager to see Kevin’s transformation into a life of freedom. We have a God that is smitten with us, loves us through all eternity and died to set us free! May His resurrection serge life into you, bring you peace and joy unspeakable.

023


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The Way We Were

troy 12th bday with me laughing

Climbing the summit to adulthood can be rough and challenging terrain as you mature through various obstacles including awkward teenage years. Childhood to adulthood, from wonder years to blunder years, finding your personal niche with family and friends. We all have stories that inevitablity shaped our character and helped forge us to mature, calling us onward and upward.

For me childhood’s sharp turns began as I carefully wrapped my beloved dolls with crisp white tissue paper preparing them for a slumbering storage. Aware of saying good-bye to my dolls was only the beginning of more farewells to crossover my hearts’ threshold. One of the things I dreaded most was the thought of my brother moving out, I simply was not ready to be left home, feeling like an only child. Sadly, that day  came way sooner than expected as my brother chose to move out at 16 ,  when sowing his wild oats (as so many of us have done) collided with our disapproving parents,  sealing his decision to prematurely leave the nest. Causing plenty of ruffled feathers  due to the intensity of the situation that surrounded his final choice.  Now the unfurling of his resolve thrusted me into a front row seat, watching my family fall apart before my very eyes.Packing away my childish toys was one thing but growing up without my brother’s presence in our home deemed itself unbearable.

Longing for his good nature and playful attitude to grace our four walls again, wanting to hear him call me “Lisgang”, even though to this day I don’t know why. Trying somehow to process my raw pain I gathered extra loose photos of us growing up, carefully cutting the pictures edges with my mom’s pinking shears, unknowingly gearing up for day when scrap booking would be a household word. Because Barbara Streisand was my all time favorite singer, I could think of no better lyrics than “The Way We Were” to gingerly paste into the middle of a poster board; placing photos around it. For those of you young en’s that don’t know this gem it goes like this ,
The Way We Were

“Mem’ries, Light the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories of the way we were.
Scattered pictures, of the smiles we left behind.
Smiles we gave to one another, for the way we were.
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again, tell me, would we? Could we?
Mem’ries, may be beautiful and yet, what’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget.So it’s the laughter we will remember
Whenever we remember…
The way we were…
The way we were…”

Securing this collage of recollections underneath my canopy, clothed in pink and white gingham, I uttered prayers for my brother… heart crafted prayers for his speedy return and for our family to heal. A rousing prodigal welcome home ending, with celebration and feasting… slamming the door shut to sever the misunderstandings that caused such a division. After wrestling heartache and a unwavering fight from my parents to get my brother out of JDH, he finally returned home. Though there was a long road ahead of us to work through of regrets and forgiveness, we had my brother back in all his zany glory.

Now 40 years later, I’m preparing myself to go to see my brother again at his memory care facility. My husband’s comforting presence each visit is paramount in enabling me to it make through each overwhelming visit. Bittersweet is woven through nostalgia that  intertwines with harsh reality… my heart pulsating, beating to the melody of the “Way We Were”. This time disease has locked him up, imprisoning his body and placing his mind in detention from the freedom it was created for. Grappling with these restrictions we do what these limitations permit. We hug him, tell stories, share photos, go on walks in the facilities gardens. Tell him we love him and pray with him. Since his speech is difficult we share the powerful and universal language of laughter.

God’s word promises, “A merry heart does good like a medicine”. I’m so thankful for my brother’s good nature and jovial personality in the midst of his extremely trying circumstances. Thank you God that in the end, “it’s the laughter we will remember “. Not focusing on the “Way We Were”, but who we are in the light of eternity. One day we will all be home together again celebrating our new celestial bodies in our heavenly homes. Walls reverberating with laughter, filled with love that knows no measure… once again hearing my brother’s familiar voice calling me Lisgang… What a beautiful reunion!


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Do you ever feel that the demand on you is greater then the supply ? or perhaps  what you have to offer pales in comparison to what it takes to meet the need  ..  Well , do I have good news for you .First of all your in good company ..Moses rescued from a basket floating in the Nile..grew up to see the unveiling of a promise that started swaddled in a blanket of his mothers love. Tenderly nursing of seeds of greatness and destiny ..Moses at the edge of  that destiny stared trembling at  his weakness ,lacking eloquent not equipped to be a man of words,slow of speech and having a heavy and awkward tongue .. Moses heart burning like the God fueled  bush,  fully ablaze with a fiery passion to serve .. flames dossed with the stark reality of his lack .. Somehow Moses must have thought God was unaware of his shortcomings.. perhaps pointing them out one by one would surely change the course that God was mapping out for him ..God  however did not allow how Moses felt about himself derail His  divine plans for deliverance. He chose to send a deliverer which also needed delivering.Human fragility imprinted with the image of Yahweh and  still equipped to do the work in his human condition. Moses  the mouthpiece ,slow of speech ,but a mouth formed by  almighty God, and as God was freeing His people from bondage He was freeing Moses as well  His all consuming fire . Burning the chaff , Breaking  chains of inadequacies and lack to truths that would set Moses free..  Honesty I have lost count of the times I have told God of my lack ..  sure I know   “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me ” by heart and that     God’s word is true for  he is not a man that He can lie ..  still I  find myself doubting ,or even  comparing myself with others knowing full well I’m not suppose to . And  when faced with a assignment that  required shoes to big  for my feet to fill . I look to God and want to say “are you  talking to me?” . Questioning  the God of the cosmos ,the one that knitted me in my mothers womb , that knows me intimately my raising and my sitting and finds in each one of us  intrinsic value . as I write these words I pray little by little , precept upon precept ..line upon line I will grasp  his truth ,truth that will empower me . Longing  for the day I no  longer say like Moses “here I’m Lord send Aaron” but I will go ,trusting in a God that knows all about me and loves me anyway .. that me plus God equals mountain moving faith , that my five loaves and two fish offering can fed the masses  simply because God blessed it .. Using me, “this basket case” of woven insecurities to reveal God’s glorious case through a basket …

Flotations of faith

Lord , Bless our hearts with a burning desire to follow you and trust you where you lead us..May we know your strength is made perfect in our weakness , to glory in our weakness because where we are weak you are strong … thank you for the big shoes we may be called to fill can be removed as we stand on your holy ground where size does not matter ….Thank you that we can serve such a awe inspiring God who sees  our less as more  …