My Sentimental Journey

An ordinary girl's walk with an extraordinary God


Bee Hopeful

The gentle breeze from the open side door off the kitchen was too refreshing for me to want to close it. I had just experienced this delightful breath of wind as I opened the door for our goofy dog Buddy to go potty. He rather enjoyed the fresh warm air and decided to lay himself down on the small porch attached to our shed to soak up some rays, acting as if it was the dog days of summer on a sunny April afternoon. Both of us seemed lost in the contentment of fresh air, sun, and joy it provided us. While the door was still wide open providing such enjoyment a bumble bee flew in, buzzing around frantically. I suppose like Buddy and I, she too got caught up in the moment of joy.

Disorientated, she headed to the unopened window and thought for sure the window was her ticket to freedom. In all accounts it sure looked like it. “Aerodynamically the bumble bee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn’t know that, so it goes on flying anyway,” (Mary Kay Ash). That can-do spirit had served her well so far, surely it would continue to work its magic. However, as an outsider looking in, all her determination was not getting her out. Deciding to assist her I grabbed a flat-end wooden spatula from the kitchen and gently placed it under her body to lift her up and send her on her merry way. But she simply was not having any part of it. In her tiny bee mind the window was the only way out.

As I pondered or, should I say, I was BEEing mindful of this bumblebee’s view of me, I realized to her I was probably making her uncomfortable. To her it might have seemed I was disrupting her plans to escape even though I knew it was inescapable. What I meant to bless her she saw as a deterrent.

And then I saw myself in that frantic bumblebee: Choosing a comfort zone rather than God’s call to the uncomfortable. Doing it my own way rather than trusting God who sees the bigger picture. Viewing God’s delays as His denials when He is simply in the process of working it all out for my good.

I never knew such a tiny insect carried such a huge lesson. I should have known, since she’s not even supposed to be able to fly. That alone will preach!

For her fuzzy body round as a ball

her dainty wings seem much too small

to zip, or zoom, or fly at all, (Dawn Matheson).

Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think anything as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God, (2 Corinthians 3:5 KJV).

Be Hopeful

Be Patient

Be Loving

Be Joyful

Be You !

Me beeing joyful at the craft store.


Clothed with Strength and Dignity

Here is the story of how the Lord brought me down the path of doing this fun project while I waited for my Reclaimed Joy book to be edited. This prompt from God became a joyful and relaxing way for me to experience the truth of God’s word. Now as this one year project comes to a close, I hope it blesses you as much as it has me in creating it. I have learned more about God,myself and that striving to people please and perfectionism is not the perfect nor pleasing life to live after all.

The Journal ’s Inspiration
The Clothed in Strength & Dignity Journal was created not only from my love
for journaling and occasional doodling but also from a longing to create a
devotional book after watching the movie 27 Dresses. Though this concept
may not sound spiritual, that next day after I watched the movie, I felt inspired
to draw 27 little dresses in my journal, redeeming the truth nuggets revealed
to me. Each new day I read one chapter in the book of Proverbs as I searched
for daily wisdom, choosing one verse to ponder, writing it down, and titling
my dress. Some of those dress drawings are displayed around this page.
Truth be told, I was not a fan of all of the aspects of the movie’s content, yet
watching the main character Jane’s strong desire to please people struck a
chord in me. For I, too, have lost my identity in the process of trying to please
people throughout my life. Jane somehow found herself saying yes to being
a bridesmaid 27 times with an underlining hope that one day these brides
would return the favor. Not only that, but Jane’s sentimentality lured her to
cram every one of those 27 bridesmaid dresses into her closet, leaving no
room in her closet or life to spread her God given wings and fly.
For me, people-pleasing became a counterfeit love that was based on fear of
rejection, crowding out God’s perfect love that casts out all fear, as 1 John 4:18
Eventually Jane found her true love and cleaned out her closet, for in that
true love was revealed the truth she needed—spurring her to embrace the
positive changes that were necessary for her newfound freedom. God’s love
will do that for us and so much more. One touch from God will transform your
life forever. Accepting Him as your Lord and Savior and choosing to follow
Him every day will be the best decision you will ever make.
When Jane married the man of her dreams, those 27 brides became her
bridesmaids, returning the favor just as she hoped they would do.
May you find God’s love for you in fresh new ways; may your personal journey
of being clothed in strength and dignity allow you to more fully experience
laughter without fear of the future.

My first doodles.

…let the adorning be
the hidden person of the heart
with the imperishable beauty
of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which in God’s sight is very precious.
1 Peter 3:4 ESV

Journal Instructions
The journal progresses through the book of Proverbs from Chapter 1
to Chapter 31.
One dress to color and one highlighted verse each day. The selected
verse to ponder correlates with that chapter.

Hanging with Jesus! The page opposite the dress and verse for that
day will have a few questions about the highlighted verse and a place to
write your Garment of Praise—your gratitude to God or something for
which you are thankful.

Devotions. If you choose to read the whole chapter (which I encourage)
you may use this space for your thoughts or study notes.

Doodle or Dream. Use your own quiet time style with Jesus that will
promote personal growth and intimacy with Him.

Blank pages at the end the journal may be used to create a collage of
words or phrases, or sketch or draw, to help you reflect on your learning
and or new awareness of God or yourself that emerged as you worked
through each chapter.

I have used The Passion Translation of the Bible frequently because of
the poetic way it is written. I have felt God’s love in a deeper level
through incorporating this translation. Feel free to use any Bible
translation with which you are comfortable.

The beautiful bouquet of God’s Wisdom
The Book of Proverbs is a beautiful bouquet of God’s wisdom and revelation
knowledge. Mainly written by King Solomon, this book stands poised and
ready for us to daily gather up its fragrant truths in the 31chapters it provides
the reader. Wisdom is poetically woven throughout the pages, giving us
answers to our human condition through the lens of God’s divine solutions.
Once we apply the wisdom of the aromatic truths to our lives, we cannot help
but spread that scent wherever we go as our lives reflect the image of God
more fully and completely.
Our lives are a Christ-like fragrance rising up to God.
2 Corinthians 2:15 NLT

You can preorder this book by going directly through Venmo -123 or The price is 14.95 plus 5.00 S/H. Please specify its for the dress book.I hope to ship out the orders by end of May. This will also be available next week for preorders on Thank you so much, Lisa


Never Smile at a Crocodile

Recently I was praying for America. My heart was heavy and grieved. As I prayed, I felt strength as the Lord reminded me of all the people crying out for God to heal our land. Then as the strength came over my spirit the Lord showed me a picture of a crocodile with his jaws roped shut. This sent me on a journey to find out all that the Lord was trying to tell me.

Crocodiles in the Bible symbolized the reign of the Pharaohs of Egypt which God would destroy (1).

Ezekiel 32:1-2 reads,

Ezekiel, son of man, condemn the king of Egypt and tell him:

You act like a lion roaming the earth;

But you are nothing more than

A crocodile in a river,

Churning up muddy water with your feet. (CSV)

Though Pharaoh prided himself as a lion among the nations, in actuality he was a crocodile—the monster in the sea—muddying the waters with his feet.

As I continued my search on the crocodile it only became more exciting to learn that during the Middle Ages the early Christians (in line with key Scripture), viewed the crocodile as a monster of chaos, and the devil. So much so they chained stuffed crocodiles on their church walls to represent the devil being chained. What a powerful picture of overcoming the enemy.

The closest translation for the Hebrew word Leviathan in Scripture is crocodile. A crocodile is known for getting its prey in its jaws, then bending, twisting, and wearing it down with its relentless thrashing back and forth. So, too, the enemy can twist our words, thoughts, and relationships in an attempt to swallow us whole through misunderstandings, lies and half-truths, causing division rather than unity; hate rather than love.

Crocodiles have also been viewed hypocritically as shedding “crocodile tears” while eating their victims. Though there is some evidence these tears are based on a physical response to the crocodile being on land and severe jaw movement, it is still a chilling picture of insincerity and deceit.

Isaiah 27:1 describes Leviathan as a serpent:

In that day the Lord with his hard and great and strong sword will punish Leviathan the fleeing serpent, Leviathan the twisting serpent, and he will slay the dragon that is in the sea.(ESV)

Psalm 74:14 continues the theme: You crushed the heads of Leviathan (Egypt); You did give him as food for the creatures inhabiting the wilderness (AMPC).

I was reminded of The Prince of Egypt movie scene when Moses’ mother Jochebed placed her precious son in the ark of bulrushes sending him off in a desperate attempt to spare him from Pharaoh’s death sentence on all baby boys .Tearfully she sang the song “Deliver Us” as the movie shows the perilous journey of Moses escaping fishing nets, hippopotamus, and the dreaded crocodile only to land safely in the arms of Pharaoh’s daughter. Eventually Moses became all that God called him to be and delivered His people from years of bondage, escaping the traps of the enemy trying to steal his God-given identity. Lord, we pray too you would deliver us.

Deliver us

Hear our prayer, deliver us

From despair, these years of slavery

Grown too cruel to stand

Deliver us

There’s a land You promised us

Deliver us from the bondage

And deliver us to the Promised Land

(Prince of Egypt) 1998

Lord, everywhere we look we see a need for your deliverance. Your people cry out for justice, freedom and truth to prevail, for good that triumphs over evil in every situation we might face.

When I think of the depravity all around and our deep need for you to deliver us, our call to pray earnestly and to do so without ceasing becomes paramount these present times.

Matthew 6:9-13 comes to mind when Jesus’ disciples asked Him for this crucial weapon. “Lord teach us to pray.” They knew the importance of it, and right there He gave them The Lord’s Prayer. Woven in that authoritative intercession is the cry to “deliver us.”

Let’s look at His beautiful example of communing with God.

Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come,

your will be done

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread

and forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors,

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.

(Matthew 6:9-13 ESV)

And as we pray faithfully let’s also “be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8 ESV).

Be Prayerful

Be Faithful

Be Alert

Be Mindful

And always remember to . . .

“Never Smile at a Crocodile”

No, you can’t get friendly with a crocodile

Don’t be taken in by his welcome grin

He’s imagining how well you’d fit within his skin

Never smile at a crocodile

Never tip your hat and stop to talk awhile

Walk away, say good-night, not good-day

Clear the aisle but never smile at Mister Crocodile.

(Frank Churchill and Jack Lawrence in the movie Peter Pan). 1953

Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you (Luke 10:19 KJV).



The Treasures of the Snow

Years ago after seeing the movie ” Avengers Endgame” my morning devotion landed me on the pages of Jeremiah 51, which at the time seemed random. However, it did not take long to see why my choice was not random at all… but rather quite divine. The words leaped off the page grabbing my attention far greater than any adrenaline driven movie moment. Right there in verses 34-37 was a thrilling life changing revelation, “Then I, God step in and say, I’m on your side, taking up your cause, I’m your Avenger !” Wow friends! How epic and reassuring… good triumphing over evil, hope cascading over despair, delivering the knockout punch to the enemies that loomed over us. All the while, washing away injustices with a love that is undeniable. A tangible, palatable victory, far removed from the bad taste that was left in our mouth’s by guilt or embarrassment. This overcoming conquering king is in our corner 24/7, never sleeping or slumbering… even when you cannot feel Him. That is truly and “End Game” changer!

God pleads our case, rights our wrongs, restores what has been devoured and loves us so fiercely; championing for our peace, salvation and joy. What is our role in this glorious package? Simply receive it free of charge, your admission has already been paid for.

You see, I have needed an Avenger

to right all the wrongs,

to turn my mourning into dancing,

to redeem what has been stolen,

and to walk in my God given freedom and destiny.

Because of Jesus my great Avenger, my story is not in a place of sorrow and victimhood but of overwhelming victory. God’s word says, “They have overcome (conquered )him by the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony.” So in that truth I can now share that I was raped during my senior year by a fellow student. For years I wrestled with shame, guilt and sorrow trying to bury my trauma so I could face each day pretending, albeit with all my might, that life was normal. Adding to the difficultly was my inability to tell my parents about being sexually assaulted. Which left me feeling alone, and with no one standing in my corner to defend me. For somewhere in the depths of my broken and shattered soul I felt responsible. It took me years with the Lord’s help and love of others to unpack the truth of that dreadful night… that it was never my fault ever. A few days after the event, the person that was responsible apologized; though it was a long bumpy road before I arrived at true forgiveness. I’ve realized along the way, that in order for a person to be able to abuse another human in any way shape or form, is out of such brokenness that only God can truly heal them. I hope and pray he has found the freedom and peace God longs to give him.

God in His unfailing love has redeemed the areas of sexual abuse that go far beyond that one painful night in Dec. of 1978 to a place of healing, peace and joy. Our Savior promises in Joel 2:25 NIV

“I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm
my great army that I sent among you.
You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the Lord your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed.

Lord, thank you for being our Avenger taking up our cause with love while also desiring freedom for both sides involved in the heartache. We praise you that the pain of yesterday is swallowed up in the victory of today. We praise you that those that put their trust in You will not be put to shame or disappointed. You are by far the best super hero ever!

Skipping school my senior year to play in the snow totally brokenhearted.  Scan0008

2022 Jesus has healed my heart and it is full of joy !

Have you entered into the treasures of the snow? Job 38:22 KJV

 For as the rain and snow come down from the heavens, and return not there again, but water the earth and make it bring forth and sprout, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater, So shall My word be that goes forth out of My mouth: it shall not return to Me void [without producing any effect, useless], but it shall accomplish that which I please and purpose, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:10-11 AMP

“Snowflakes are kisses from heaven.” Unknown

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Exciting News is now open for business. Not only will I be adding to my blog posts, I will be adding to my shop as well. I’m super excited to have this up and running and so look forward to writing and creating new products that remind you how much you are loved by God.

Please note at this time the shop is only doing pre-orders .Shipments going out in mid to late February for book and bracelet and journal shipment in March . Thank you so much and God bless,

Reclaimed by His love and joy ,



Entwined Hearts

Recently it dawned on me, jokingly calling the word “wait” a four letter word was not a good idea. Though there have been times in my life when waiting felt like a long prison sentence with no hope of parole nor even a visitor called Joy. It’s root cause was fostered by my lack of trust and complete confidence in God’s faithfulness. Not only that, my thoughts were skipping the biblical principles of rejoicing in the Lord always as Philippians 4:1-9 encourages us to do so… this didn’t help matters. My notions of God’s truths in regards to waiting was conceived, birthed and nursed on lies. This false narrative continued to grow out of a lack of trust in God’s goodness. Doubt became the framework of my wobbly emotional structure, which proved insufficient building materials to fully lean on God’s goodness in my times of waiting. Removing the core nature of God’s faithfulness out of the equation of waiting, choosing to be dictated by feelings over our faith will fail any faith building inspection.

I’m reminded of Peter’s bold steps to walk on water as Jesus bid him, only to suddenly let his fear and doubt not only stop him in his water tracks but sank him in it. I love what Matthew 14:31 * says, ” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him .” You of little faith, ‘he said , why did you doubt? “So why did Peters bold step of faith to met Jesus abruptly stop? He saw the wind which had produced the crashing waves against the boat he and the other 11 apostles were waiting in. Peter’s fear of the wind caused him to take His eyes off Jesus, gripping his heart with doubt causing him to sink. Even though Jesus had comforted His fearful disciples only moments before while He was walking on the water saying, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” I’m comforted to know that even Peter doubted in the waiting, letting sight override faith allowing doubt to drown him… even though Jesus had lived amongst him on a daily basis with unwavering faithfulness. Like me, he let the whirlwind of circumstances deceive him, while the wind of adversity whipped up fear that raged in his soul.

Also, I find it interesting that in Matt: 14 it is recorded on three different occasions that immediately after Jesus did something for his disciples a juxtaposition took place… the value of “Waiting”. God is a God of Waiting and a God of suddenlies, though I love the suddenlies there is great significance in the Waiting. Allowing the necessary work of the Holy Spirit within our own hearts’ and minds’ to be done while we Wait. James W. Goll writes, “when the fullness of preparation, meets the fullness of time its results in the culture or atmosphere where suddenlies come to pass” The bottom line is …. “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Ecclesiastes 3 :11 ESV

This reality of God’s truth empowers us to take a position of rejoicing in His exceedingly great and precious promise even while we Wait.

As I repented on my four letter word comparison of the word WAIT the Lord brought to mind the countless scripture verses that celebrates Waiting.

The truth is we not only wait on Him, He waits on us.

To surrender our will for His.

To lay on the altar those things we cling to. Offering our bodies as living sacrifices holy and pleasing to God.

A beautiful exchange of earthly pleasures for His far greater kingdom purposes.

Isaiah 30 :18 is a lovely picture of His waiting on us.”For this reason the Lord is still waiting to show his favor to you so he can show you his marvelous love. He waits to be gracious to you. He sits on his throne ready to show mercy to you. For Yahweh is the Lord of justice, faithful to keep his promises. Overwhelmed with bliss are all who will entwine their hearts in him, waiting for him to help them.”

Such a comforting verse, and the thought of entwining our hearts to His is a powerful truth to cling to in our waiting.
” Here’s what I’ve learned through it all: Don’t give up; don’t be impatient; be entwined as one with the Lord. Be brave and courageous, and never lose hope. Yes, keep on waiting—for he will never disappoint you!” Psalm 27:14

The Passion translation commentary writes The Hebrew word most commonly translated as “wait” (wait upon the Lord) is qavah, which also means “to tie together by twisting” or “to entwine” or “to wrap tightly.” This is a beautiful concept of waiting upon God, not passively, but entwining our hearts with him and his purposes.

It reminds me of a tall curly willow branch propped up behind our shed waiting to be used, while in its stillness a glorious honeysuckle near by seeking additional support, twirled around the dead lifeless branch. Gracefully, beautifully entwining its purpose with life and destiny.

Today you might feel like a dead branch waiting for a promise or a purpose, I have good news for you… when we wrap our heart into His we are forever changed in the process and beauty will come out of the waiting.

Perhaps you too are tired of being on the team where wait is a four letter word. Are you ready for a shift into freedom? I know I am!

As I wrote this the Lord brought to mind the game called “Olly olly oxen free”.”Olly olly oxen free” is a catchphrase or truce term used in children’s games such as hide and seek, indicating the players who are hiding can come out into the open without losing the game. Or that the position of the sides in a game has changed, meaning the game is entirely over. Wikipedia went on to say the phrase may have, ”calling all the outs in free”; in other words, all who are out may come in without penalty.

We thank you Lord for calling “Olly olly oxen free ” to all who are hiding in fear, doubt or shame. Being the glorious game changer, calling outs–IN and those still waiting will one day boldly declare… it was totally worth the Wait! .

“I have wrapped my heart into yours!” Psalms 25:5 TPT



Dancing with Possibilities


Through the years I have thought it would be fun to own a little boutique, well at least in theory. I did however get the joy of renting a couple booths for seven years selling home decor with a shabby chic flare. This gave me a very little taste of what having my own boutique would feel like; without all the extra responsibilities. It was a delightful chapter in my life. I also realized how much I enjoy driving by empty buildings seeing in my minds eye the potential of what those little gems could hold. A hidden jewel ready and waiting to come out of the box shining with their new found glory and purpose. An empty building with budding futures are not the only things my heart is drawn to, so too is a strong pull for discarded furniture and other roadside freebies that get me every time. Putting on the breaks, jumping out, I’m absolutely giddy as I drag my new found treasure to the van. Like a hermit crab eager to get a discarded shell, I celebrate my new found treasure all the way home.

This love affair of discarded things has tested my limits of how far I will go to get the prize. Having your eye on the prize of something you cannot lift into your car without help is always met with a prayer. Like for instance, a gorgeous large mid century dresser nestled amongst the landscape on a sloping hill. Challenge accepted and prayers were raised as I pathetically tried to scoot that behemoth of a dresser to my van. Fortunately some strapping young man took pity on this grandma’s feeble attempts and kindly offered his must needed muscle. Thank you Jesus! That “Lord have mercy prayer” worked beautifully that day.

Once again it came in handy when I saw the cutest small wooden tool shed needing a good home. There it was smack dab in the middle of the sidewalk beckoning me. I wasted no time heeding the call and quickly turned the van around parking it close enough or so I thought, ready to get that darling loaded up. As I stood next to this 6 ft beauty I assessed my game plan realizing leaving it there was not an option. So I hugged it, like you would a tree and since we were cozy I thought waltzing with it back and forth was far better to get it from point A to B, then pulling it to the van. Besides I did not want to appear rude upon our first meeting.

Choosing to dance slowly…

With the cumbersome,

Embracing all its possibilities,

Awkwardness mingled with its underlining glory,

Investing in a risk to reap an even greater reward.

No doubt I looked completely hilarious and ridiculous at the same time and yet I did not care. I knew the value and the purpose of what I choose as my unusual dance partner. Swaying with a shed to no music down the looooong stretch of Arata Road was worth the risk and reward. Finally, arriving at my van seemed like forever, a sweet lady was gracious enough to put down her bucket of popcorn realizing the “Dancing With The Shed” was over and gladly helped me hoist my new found partner into my vehicle. Finding help in the 11th hour was a pleasant surprise though I’m not going to lie, having help sooner would have been nice. Another prayer answered brought to you by God’s sense of humor and believe me He has one. This story is always funny to remember and so its all good in the hood. Besides our small towns motto is, “Everything you need in one square mile”, apparently that includes entertainment. Your welcome!

I still love the thrill of the hunt, finding treasures once deemed as trash never gets old. Seeing beauty in the unwanted, discarded and at times seemingly unlovable is in my DNA. Like the time my high school boyfriend took his dad’s beautiful white Jaguar spending the day traveling dusty roads collecting bottles and cans for money. Truth be told… we spent more money on gas then what we earned. On top of that his dad was not pleased with our joy ride, nor was my mom as I washed a bazillion dirty mainly beer cans on our front lawn. She was completely mortified the neighbors would think this God loving,church going, teetotaling mama had been hiding a big secret. What a day!

Lately this gal’s DNA pendulum of seeing worth in rejected items is swinging way beyond dirty beer cans and discarded furniture to more of the human condition. My passion has shifted even more recently turning 60, coupled with personally experiencing a greater depth of emotional and spiritual freedom. This has sparked such a hunger in me to see others completely healed and made whole. Bottom line… God is moving me into a new season enlarging my heart to break it for what breaks His. So excited and …

Ready …

To embrace the possibilities,

To dance with new opportunities even when difficult.

To look at situations that seem to big for me only …

To realize they are not to big for God.

Today by faith I chose to welcome the awkward, the messy, learning to love more deeply the broken, the discarded and what the world sees as unlovable. My heart’s desire is to have the same zeal that had me pull over for a piece of unwanted furniture to now stopping more as the Holy Spirit directs me to help a brother or sister in need. Seeing their intrinsic God given value, a beauty that is in desperate need of redemption and healing.

Through Gods love and boundless grace we are more then able to …

Change the trajectory from wounded people wounding people

to the liberating truth propelling free people to free people.

Now I look more for people than things that need some TLC. Perhaps to give a warm smile (even with a mask ) for our eyes smile too!, a hug, a prayer, or an encouraging word. Every person needs to know the Tender Loving Care of their Heavenly Father who wants to speak into their lives …

They have worth

They have value

They have a God given identity that is waiting to be uncovered from lies that they are buried under.

Thank you Jesus for the joy of walking in true freedom that can only come from you. May our lives be conduits to speak life and truth of just how good you are. Pouring out your love, grace and hope of our brightest future that comes from you the Author and Finisher of our faith.

Now that is truly music I can dance to.

Let us not only embrace new possibilities and seasons but kick up our heels and dance with them . Lisa Jennings

“Be cheerful with joyous celebration in every season of life.” Philippians 4 :1

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.” Natalie Cole

A broken thing can’t fix itself ~ Dean Koontz


Worth More than Rose Gold

One thing you should know about me is that I am in love (obsessed?) with rose gold. This slight infatuation increased one hundred fold on our trip to Disneyland in 2019. While there, I was met with a sea of sparkly rose gold Minnie Mouse ears. My heart skipped a beat for these glittering beauties, but I had already made a hard and fast rule long before we planted our feet in the Magic Kingdom. My foolproof plan was to purchase my Minnie Mouse ears online long before our vacation ever started. Obviously by doing so I would save money and reduce the temptation to overspend while there. While I highly recommend this strategy, the best laid plans can still go south.

When the bargain ears arrived, they were either way too small or way too big. However, I remained fully committed to wearing them without bothering to check if they were returnable. Growing up I often heard, “waste not; want not,” and perhaps it was this notion that convinced me that those babies were getting packed up and going with us regardless of whether they looked ridiculous or not. Honestly, Disneyland is filled with ridiculous items you can place on your head anyway – one of the many things I love about the place.

When we finally arrived at the Park, Kevin encouraged me to buy something for myself. Even though I loved most of what I saw, I was far from in love with the price tags. So my admirable response was a polite, “No, thank you.”


One lustrous day, those rose gold Minnie Mouse ears finally broke down my frugality with their magnetic, glittering glory. Like a thrifty moth to the uneconomical flame, I was drawn to the display. I picked one up, just to gaze at its charming allure, and my husband wasted no time in insisting I get them. The poor guy had been watching me wearing micro or macro Minnie ears each day as we strolled in the park, and he was more than ready to bless me. Just when I was about to take the purchase plunge, I turned in the cashier’s direction and froze.

Tears suddenly welled up.

Delicate, graceful tears – for the record. No ugly crying (this time).

Seeing my tears, Kevin tenderly asked, “What’s wrong?” I looked at him and simply said,

“I don’t deserve them.”

In the forefront of my mind were all my failures and the fears I had been battling during our trip that had left me grumpy in the middle of the Happiest Place on Earth.

And the truth is, I didn’t deserve them.

Despite the truth of my confession, Kevin lovingly took the ears from my hand and marched up to the counter like a man on a mission. I stood there speechless and in awe as the guilt melted away. When he returned, he placed in my hands the most gorgeous set of Minnie Mouse ears this girl has ever laid eyes on.

It was a beautiful act of grace.

Although I had been acting in ugly ways and deserving a far different outcome, he chose to forgive me and clothe me in beauty.

The truth is, none of us deserve anything good.

We certainly don’t deserve what God has so willingly and freely given us. “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8 ESV.

While we were still sinners.

Christ died for us.

We are all sinners saved only by God’s redeeming grace. God’s love through the cross proved His unmerited mercy and favor towards us. We can choose to accept His free gift of salvation and forgiveness and to walk in humility, repentance, and thanksgiving.

“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.” 1 John 3:1a ESV.

“For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5:21 ESV.

Once we acknowledge our failure and choose to trust in Him, He clothes us with new identity and worth.

Maybe you’ve heard this good news before but were never able to let the powerful truth of it sink in fully. Understandably so. Love that is so lavish, unconditional, and full of grace is hard for us to wrap our heads around. It is mind-blowing. Each new day I’m more fully learning and understanding God’s love for me.

My heart is that you dare to discover His love for you. Don’t listen to the liar who says you cannot be loved.

My husband’s grace and generosity spoke the love of God in a language I could understand. God knows how to speak directly to your heart. Ask Him to show you His love, to help you understand. You may feel God’s love when you see a beautiful sunset, when you get a helping hand, or when you hear encouraging words. For many, getting a seemingly silly trinket like Minnie ears would not have touched your heart the way it did mine! The beautiful thing is, God knows our unique love languages because He created us to speak them. If you don’t know yours and would like to, consider checking out It is an excellent tool to better understand how others give and receive love (as well as yourself).

Ultimately though, the most important thing is to read God’s word. The Bible is His love letter to us, and His Spirit speaks to each one of us through it. I highly encourage you as you read to journal His powerful truths and loving thoughts towards you.

God is faithful and patient with us as we surrender to Him. He is always there guiding our baby steps towards deeper healing as we grasp His divine truths and long for His wholeness.

My prayer for you is that you grab hold of the truth and run with it – dancing in a field of wildflowers in His freeing redemption.

God makes us worth more than rose gold.


For Better Or Worst

All starry eyed, full of anticipation and excitement, repeating your vows of “for better or for worse” you don’t expect the worst to be on your honeymoon. Oh, sure we have heard of honeymoons going awry–getting sick, bad hotel or storms. Those “worses” are no fun right off the starting gate to wedded bliss. But for me and my husband, the capricious storm was internal, and that perfect storm landed right in me as I lay on the hotel bed in Newport, Oregon–Kevin’s childhood town where he grew up.
Like two champagne glasses raised to a toast to new beginnings only to crash to the ground shattering on earth’s impact, all that remained were shards of glass broken at my feet and a sense of bewilderment as to what happened. The perfect storm that brewed in me started with fear–fear that was tucked in a compartment I wanted to forget. The cheating high school boyfriend I planned to marry and my cheating first husband confirmed what I already felt about myself. I am unlovable, I’m less than, and I certainly cannot captivate a man to love me with total commitment or loyalty. The interactions I had with men built the case that they could not be trusted. My sweet husband was innocent, yet he paid the price for all the other men who increased my already distorted view of myself and my belief of all men in general.
And on that lovely night after consummating our marriage, voices in my head were telling me to jump out the window. Being a visual person, I could see my body sprawled on the cold pavement, the sounds of the waves crashing in the distance while the sea breeze brushed across my lifeless body, with a soft glow from the lamppost that shone down on me. Dramatic yes, yet so was my reality, immediately I shared with Kevin the horrific thoughts tormenting my mind. The poor guy–that is not what you want to hear ever, especially on your honeymoon.
I cannot praise God enough for a loving, supportive and faithful husband who has stood by me through it all. His tenacious love for God me brought me through my darkest hours. I want to encourage you that God shows no partiality undue favor or unfairness; with Him one man is not different from another (Romans 2:11 AMPC).
So although I received much healing from God through Kevin we do not need a husband or wife to obtain our healing unless that is part of God’s plan. God will use different means to bring us healing in His time and ways. He is ready to answer the cry and desire of our heart for it is His heart to free us completely. Keep seeking, asking, and knocking and you will find your deliverance.

Happy 34th Wedding Anniversary to this amazing man, who loves God and people with a heart as big as the ocean.


Good Grief

Whenever I hear the words good grief my mind immediately goes to Charlie Brown getting chided from his disgruntled friends for his bumbling ways; as he tried desperately to fit in and feel loved unconditionally. At times the Peanuts gang became quite the peanut gallery. However, as I write this today I think about the God of all comforts who is good even in our grief. Though grief is never good in and of its’ self in the midst of our grieving, God’s goodness and comfort is ever so close to those whose hearts are breaking. When we walk through the process of grief in all it’s sorrow and messiness… He is right there with us embracing our grieving hearts with His love for Isaiah 53:3″ reminds us He is  …a man(Jesus) of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief” (anguish, affliction)

Recently I was preparing for a Women’s Conference called Lavish put on by Her Voice Movement. They suggested before hand that the women would fast from something of our choosing; to put us on the fast track, removing distractions, which allows one’s heart to hearing God more clearly opening doors to receive deeper levels of healing. I accepted the challenge and removed something in my life that was an albatross around my neck for years.

The conference was life changing not just because of the amazing worship, wonderful teaching, or the thoughtful gifts meant to represent the lavish love of God. It was an atmosphere of praise, expectancy and a deep heart cry for intimacy with our creator. He was welcomed and His healing power flowed throughout the entire weekend gathering… setting women free all around the room. This freedom is available to all who seek His face whenever and wherever… He is no respecter of persons.

On the first night of the conference it was a “white out night”… with prior encouragement to wear a white top if possible. Stepping onto the elevator from the 15th floor I felt a strong urge to tell anyone boarding on the way down or up they did not die and go to heaven .  What a beautiful sight with a elevator full of  women wearing white.
Upon arriving at the 7pm. meeting we stepped into a beautiful all white room, white Butterfly fur chairs circled the stage, white sections of fur rugs snugged tightly together blanketed the floors seamlessly.

Days before the conference God was already beginning to stir something deep inside me. Little touches of His grace were gently becoming known to me. On one particular day a love nudge from Him drew my attention to see Scooby’s dog collar hanging on the rear view mirror… I had placed it there a couple of years ago after he had passed away. Suddenly, I realized I didn’t want it up there anymore, slowly I removed it to keep it in a memory box. It was a light airy feeling of freedom and forward movement. My time of holding on and looking back through a dark , heavy cloud of grief was slowly lifting. Having no idea this would be the beginning of a journey that would ultimately end my prolonged spirit of mourning.
Returning home from the conference I was brimming full of joy and a renewed sense of hope.. and in tow carrying my white fur butterfly chair, along with two sections of white rugs they graciously gave us. Now comes the dilemma, where can I put them where our dog Buddy won’t destroy these new treasures? He already pooped on my zebra print rug that had to be thrown away. Mind you that pretty much is the only rug in our house… Really!! This rug was the focal point of our black and white room with aqua walls. It was a room I put together when our oldest son moved out and my mom was dying. A shrine of sorts, a storage room and place where a dog can poop apparently.
The zebra rug’s demise was a mere prelude to the coming attraction of what God had in mind to transform that “room of mourning” into a “room of JOY”.  It was now going to be my new little sanctuary to soak in God’s love. The black curtains came down, black lamps, black chair and dark pillows.. I now replaced with my white chair, white rugs, renewed inspiration and a closed door policy for Buddy! The darkness of grief that had lingered under the radar far too long had now outworn it’s welcome. Now being replaced with light and a perspective that ushered out the mourning. That little haven of fresh hope, life and light now streams through it’s reclaimed space. It served it’s purpose for years, it honored my mom, brother and still does…. just differently. Honestly, I know that is what they would want for me. The cleverly disguised gloom (room) that entrenched my soul, has lifted, the grieving process has had adequate time to heal.
In this season I still grieve, however it is not the same, when a memory comes to mind tears will roll down my cheek and I feel the Heavenly Father’s love comfort me like never before. My soul is no longer in deep anguish and in a gloominess that lingers. Perhaps this is what grief feels like when you have completed your heart wrenching grief process. All I know is it feels so freeing, a natural rhythm of my emotions not worrying “Am I stuffing my grief ? am I grieving too little too much?  I just am, in His presence, in His peace being held by the great I AM … He has given me a deeper sense of His goodness even in the grief.
Perhaps your grief is so recent the pain so excruciating you cannot even relate to my story of being on the other side. I know that grief as well, it is so overwhelming that even simple daily tasks seem insurmountable . Do not despair God’s word promises us * “They will enter Zion with singing ; everlasting joy will crown their heads. Gladness and joy will overtake them, and sorrow and sighing will flee away “. That soul crushing sorrow, that grief that is so weighty you have to sigh to get it off your chest will one day be no more. Joy will come in the morning and will break through your mourning. Take heart God is your burden bearer and hope of a brighter tomorrow bringing good to your grief.
“Because Yahweh has anointed me (Jesus), as a messenger to preach good news to the poor.
He sent me to heal the wounds of the brokenhearted, to tell captives, “You are free,”
and to tell prisoners, “Be free from your darkness.” I am sent to announce a new season of Yahweh’s grace
and a time of God’s recompense on his enemies, to comfort all who are in sorrow,
to strengthen those crushed by despair who mourn in Zion—to give them a beautiful bouquet in the place of
ashes, the oil of bliss instead of tears, and the mantle of joyous praise instead of the spirit of heaviness
Because of this, they will be known as Mighty Oaks of Righteousness, planted by Yahweh as a living display of his glory. Isaiah 61 -1:4 TPT
“A time to weep and a time to laugh a time to mourn and a time to dance “. Ecclesiastes 3:4
“Weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning “. Psalms 30:5
“To experience God’s comfort while you’re suffering with grief, Try to focus on God’s goodness , and He’ll bring your heart relief ” O.D.B Devotional collection
* Isaiah 51:11