My Sentimental Journey

An ordinary girl's walk with an extraordinary God

For Better Or Worst

6 Comments


All starry eyed, full of anticipation and excitement, repeating your vows of “for better or for worse” you don’t expect the worst to be on your honeymoon. Oh, sure we have heard of honeymoons going awry–getting sick, bad hotel or storms. Those “worses” are no fun right off the starting gate to wedded bliss. But for me and my husband, the capricious storm was internal, and that perfect storm landed right in me as I lay on the hotel bed in Newport, Oregon–Kevin’s childhood town where he grew up.
Like two champagne glasses raised to a toast to new beginnings only to crash to the ground shattering on earth’s impact, all that remained were shards of glass broken at my feet and a sense of bewilderment as to what happened. The perfect storm that brewed in me started with fear–fear that was tucked in a compartment I wanted to forget. The cheating high school boyfriend I planned to marry and my cheating first husband confirmed what I already felt about myself. I am unlovable, I’m less than, and I certainly cannot captivate a man to love me with total commitment or loyalty. The interactions I had with men built the case that they could not be trusted. My sweet husband was innocent, yet he paid the price for all the other men who increased my already distorted view of myself and my belief of all men in general.
And on that lovely night after consummating our marriage, voices in my head were telling me to jump out the window. Being a visual person, I could see my body sprawled on the cold pavement, the sounds of the waves crashing in the distance while the sea breeze brushed across my lifeless body, with a soft glow from the lamppost that shone down on me. Dramatic yes, yet so was my reality, immediately I shared with Kevin the horrific thoughts tormenting my mind. The poor guy–that is not what you want to hear ever, especially on your honeymoon.
I cannot praise God enough for a loving, supportive and faithful husband who has stood by me through it all. His tenacious love for God me brought me through my darkest hours. I want to encourage you that God shows no partiality undue favor or unfairness; with Him one man is not different from another (Romans 2:11 AMPC).
So although I received much healing from God through Kevin we do not need a husband or wife to obtain our healing unless that is part of God’s plan. God will use different means to bring us healing in His time and ways. He is ready to answer the cry and desire of our heart for it is His heart to free us completely. Keep seeking, asking, and knocking and you will find your deliverance.

Happy 34th Wedding Anniversary to this amazing man, who loves God and people with a heart as big as the ocean.

Author: Lisa Thompson Jennings

Hello my name is Lisa,.it would be so delightful to sit down with you swapping life's stories..Reveling in God's goodness,sharing our battles won and those we still are fighting. Finding sacred ground together in heartbreak, redemption , forgiven and blessed hope that promises not to disappoint us. A little about me ... I love God with all my heart stumbling along the way as I do , I talk a lot but still covet listening, Laughter and being creative are not options for my soul would wither with the lack of them. My husband Kevin and I have been married for 27 years and blessed with two boys Derek 22 and Trent 19. It's been 22 years since I worked outside of the home some of those twenty-one years were spent homeschooling, coupon clipping and keeper of the Jennings household. Counting it pure joy to watch our amazing boys turn into outstanding young men.While this earthen vessel laden with cracks and flaws by God's intentional grace and renewed strength made it through. A touch of God's redemption from past misfortunes that included surviving sexual abuse, a failed first marriage, eating disorder, panic attacks, intense gripping fear and crushing low self esteem. Drawn to a God that can right wrongs, bring beauty where ashes once laid ,all the while lovingly speaking His worth and value into weary, parched souls. So that we can not only survive as victims but thrive as a people walking in glorious victory, blazing a trail of freedom for anyone held in chains of injustices, personal failure or loss. So thankful God is all about new beginnings, fresh starts and slates wiped clean.. our past misfortunes merely spring boards of new found hope and deep abounding joy ... it's a privilege to be a fellow sojourner in this path to greater wholeness and liberation. Charles Dickens writes "Reflect on your present blessings every man has many, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some". Celebrating present and future Heavenly blessings with you

6 thoughts on “For Better Or Worst

  1. Dearest Lisa,
    What a difficult and vulnerable passage you have written to commemorate your anniversary. Furthermore, this speaks of incredible healing, not only to share, but to declare His great faithfulness in the broken shards. Those glass shards have been melted and reshaped into a crystal clear goblet, raised to heaven, toasting the one who ever intercedes and heals.

    Can you hear the ping of the crystal? It is a bell, Isabel.

    • That dear friend has brought me to tears ! Thank you so much for all your selfless and powerful prayers for my behalf and that of my family. Your gracious love and Godly example of walking with God through the valley’s and mountain tops has been the wind beneath my sails. I’m absolutely blessed beyond measure to call you friend and my life changing mentor. Love you dearly 🙂

  2. I am thrilled to hear your story. I am hoping still that God might have that wonderful partner for me. You just never know! Blessings on you both!

    • Hello Lauren, I’m so very sorry I did not reply sooner. I just saw this, my sincere apologize. Thank you so very much for commenting and your kind words about my story . That means a lot to me. God is so faithful and knows your hearts desires. I believe He able to do exceedingly abundantly more then we can ask or think an Ephesians 3:20 prayer. Lauren ,May God bless your hearts cry for a man of God that will love you like Christ loves you and the church . Big hug and thanks again for your thoughtful note. Blessings and God’s joy be yours today and always. 🙂

  3. Thank you, Lisa, so well put; as always. Love the way you write and share, dear friend.

    • Oh thank you so much Sharon, You always bless my heart with your words and friendship. My sincere apologies that I did not write sooner I just saw this. I value every comment you share, so thanks again for your love and thoughtfulness towards me. Love and hugs .

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