The sun is shining brilliantly outside my window while robust winds toss trees seemingly without mercy and downright relentless. Inside my feet dangle freely and rather comfortably positioned right over a toasty register unaware of the robust gales outside. As I ponder these mighty winds our beloved city of Troutdale is know for displaying, I’ve come to conclude with great conviction I might add, Chicago could have strong competition holding the title of “The Windy City” if it was ever up for grabs. This little town is proving to be one heck of powerful contender thanks to the east winds whipping through the Columbia River Gorge. If by chance we were in Christopher Robin’s neck of the woods. Winnie the Pooh would call this a “blustery day” indeed. However, my mind is contemplating and pondering more then the breeze that rattled the windows ,but instead what the rest of the day holds. Feeling my spirits being churned equally as the unsettled blasts of winds presently a mere stones throw from my cozy indoor haven .
For later today my husband and I have plans to visit my brother at his Alzheimer care facility where he now resides. Each visit bracing myself expecting to experience storm tossed, squally feelings of loss. Deep longing for days gone by when my brother and I could laugh and communicate more freely. Far before illness sprawled graffiti painted words such as limitation on the walls of his life. Trying through it all to hear the heart of God over my redundant and deafening questions of why. Why this Lord?, why now ?, why him.? Aware for now these why questions are left unanswered. Regardless, I know I’m not alone for many of you can relate to the wrestling thoughts of your personal whys? Maybe it’s the why of an illness, a painful divorce, a heartbreaking death, or some other tragic loss? Perhaps you don’t ask the why’s like I do being aware that focusing on them is usually not very helpful. There is a key to greater understanding whenever I pause to fix my gaze at the bigger picture called eternity… glimmering with all its’ truth shining brightly before me. Laura Story’s song, “Blessings” is one of my favorites, every time I hear it I sing along in full of appreciation of its’ profound lyrics… some of it goes as follows…
“What if my greatest disappointment or the aching of this life , Is the revealing of the greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
and what if the trails in this life … the rain, the storm the hardest nights are your mercies in disguise.”
Laura wrote “Blessings ” after a brain tumor hospitalized her husband in 2006 it was a stormy time for them and the road to recovery that followed. When being interviewed by Kevin Davis of NRT she shared, “The song shows that we still have more questions than answers. But there’s a decision that I find God is asking us to make. Are we going to judge God based on our circumstances or are we going to choose to interpret our circumstances based on what we hold to be true about God”?
Walking in a temporal world repeatedly asking the why’s tosses my soul back and forth blasting my faith with its’ billowing windstorms. Speaking from experience I have a battered soul to prove it. However, today if I choose to walk again with a determined faith making a sincere conscious effort to take each day as a gift. Knowing full well God’s mercies are new every morning, embracing more completely the here and now with all the messes and heartache that can accompany it. Trying my best to refrain from asking a copious amount of ” The 5 W+ H” of Journalist questions to God… consisting of Who, What, When, Where, Why, How… settling wholly on the bottom line alone. What is that you may ask? If we know who God is, and what are His promises… the When, Where, Why and How with lose prominence. God is Love, God is Just, God is Faithful, to name a few. We can boldly look to Jesus the Author and Finisher of our faith. Whether it’s sunny, windy or both we can rejoice… turning our maze of questions into an a “mazing” trust, *painting grace graffiti on the fences of our limitations and losses.
Lord you know how I need you, Your truth, grace, hope and joy. Casting my cares upon you for you care for me.
“The Future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity. It is the most temporal part of time–for the Past is frozen and no longer flows, and the Present is all lit up with eternal rays.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters
“For the Present is the point at which time touches eternity. C.S. Lewis The Screwtape Letters
*Psalms 17:7 The Message Bible