My sentimental journey

An ordinary girl's walk with an extraordinary God.


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A Heavenly Home

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It’s been four months since our oldest son moved into his home making him a first time home buyer, as we rejoice in his accomplishment our hearts are thrilled in the fact he is just a hop, skip and a jump away from our house.  Being merely one block away, his home positioned on the very same street that my husband Kevin lived on when we were just friends.

Over thirty years ago I traveled down that very street to drop Kevin and his roommate off after attending my first college career meeting at a new church. Recently divorced, battling an eating disorder, and not sure if I would ever marry again or be blessed with children, my life seemed overwhelming and my future looked bleak. Never in a million years could I have fathomed what God had in store for me and my future family down that very road!

Thank you Father that, “You are able to carry out your purposes and to do super-abundantly, far over and above all that we dare ask or think, infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams. Ephesians 3:20  May we trust in a God that is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, The A to Z and everything in between. Being forever faithful as we depend on you.


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Blemish Free

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Not long ago while shopping at a thrift store with our oldest son Derek I stumbled upon  the perfect “me time” accessory… a brand new  inflatable heart shaped bath pillow, bright red terry cloth, scalloped edges complete with a half off price tag… score !!!  My sore muscles wildly cheering me on, hoping for some TLC to soothe them due to over zealousness on my part.

Finally, the long awaited moment arrived, pillow inflated, bath drawn, and an older  issue of Country Living magazine to leisurely peruse through while unwinding. This particular beloved addition had already helped me on my journey of relaxation a time or two before.  It’s warped, well worn pages to prove it.  Perhaps the fact that the magazine has been previously around the block a time or two  has caused a less then peaked interest, liken to when my eyes beheld its’ fresh sleek attractive pages for the first time. Surprisingly, what caught my attention this time around was an acne treatment advertisement. Not that it had beautiful inviting photos wooing me, or a need to purchase this product, for I already had several options in my arsenal of beauty treatments.  Immediately captivating me was it’s  boldly printed words within the layout.. the first word was Renew then  Revitalize followed by Repair and lastly my personal favorite Rejoice.  Who knew there was a sermon in an ad ready to sooth my aching soul with a promise.

Our God who is without blemish, promises to Renew,  ridding us of the old making way for lives pulsating with vitality.  A hope that Revitalizes us, as it heals up our inner wounds alleviating emotional obstacles that impede our lives. Thus, bringing His light into every dark area of our heart, mind, soul and body.  Repairing our broken lives from gathered truth gleaned at the foot of the cross, bountiful promises of His covenant unveiled amidst an  empty tomb. Jesus, the lamb of God, who sits upon the throne, interceding for us daily, moment by moment. Forever we breathe and exist under His watchful care, His faithful guarantee.  An elaborate presentation of redemption and grace; given freely, offered without price and yet priceless!  We stand before God, wounded, flawed, stained, and imperfect. While He looks upon us as His beloved bride, veiled in mercy, clothed in His righteousness; a perfect picture of His glorious handiwork.  Who would’ve thought that such a wonderful revelation of truth would leap out from a blemish advertisement. While exhausted muscles celebrated, so did my drained soul as it was filled up right along with the drawn bath water.

Lord… Thank you that you have so many ways to speak to your children whether it be in a sunset,  rainbow, a warm hug, or even an ad in a worn magzine.  May we hear you, mindful of your still small voice, and with every  breath we take inhaling the fragrance of Christ. While every exhale we release your glory. We Rejoice that our sins are forgiven through you…knowing  in Christ we always have a blemish free guarantee. 


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No Regrets

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If there is one thing that Michelle my dear friend and mentor for over twenty four years likes to do is to pray big, bold, audacious prayers. Prayers that rock my spiritual world to its’ very core. Shaking its’ foundation with thunderous possibilities. Oh, don’t get me wrong I love praying larger than life prayers for others too, though my faith may be the grain of a mustard seed. This tiny seed of faith takes wings soaring with bated  breath, watching mountains careening into the mighty roaring sea. Knowing with confidence God is able and  more than willing to bless them. However, there are moments when prayers that are said over me wax bold and require wide-eyed faith tethered to tenacious trust. Causing my spirit to nervously gulp, while legs quake in my less then well traveled spiritual boots. How I long to grab a hold of the  horns of the altar refusing to let go until the grand answer is revealed. Assured these powerful prayers have become a fragrant perfume sweet to the nostrils of God, stirring Him to my attention. Tipping the bowl of petitions until each spoken prayer becomes reality.  Thus, releasing times of rapturous ensuing praise of my faith becoming sight.

Sad to say, my faith is less then stellar at times, falling short of God’s glory. Determined daily to set my heart upon a deeper trust in Him, while finding enormous comfort that we serve a God that loves far beyond our failings. Our lack or wavering faith never changes the character of a loving and compassionate God. Thankfully, His grace and mercy shows up over and over again triumphing over seeded doubt or mustered up faith.

Recently Michelle’s dauntless prayer came to fruition, unfolding before my very eyes.   Through the years her fearless prayers were for me to have no regrets with my mother.  For as the years went by, so to had my mounting tension and concern increased. Her deteriorating mental health issues loomed over our relationship….longing to help and her refusal wearied me. Michelle’s petitions for total reconciliation felt sorely beyond my grasp. However, she knew inevitably her requests were going to be answered. God had mended the breach between Michelle and her mother, He would surely do the same for me….and  indeed He did, beginning through a whirlwind of events.

For in April of 2012, within a 24 hour period, my mama went from living alone and driving, to needing around the clock care with a blown heart value and rapidly visible and increasing dementia. During the next three weeks I cared for her 24/7 until we could get her into proper adult foster care. My heart softening with each act of servant hood, every stroke with the hairbrush to her beautiful auburn hair, rubbing her swollen legs and feet, or being her memory as hers was growing dimmer. Slowly a deepening love and appreciation for my mother emerged. My initial frustration and anger vanished while her profound gratitude flourished; our love blossoming in the soil of adversity, blooming in spite of human frailty.

God using ashes to bring beauty, answering prayers in ways we at times grapple to understand. As the dust unhurriedly settles, we reverently gaze upon the beauty of the Lord, standing in awe, humbled and  profoundly grateful. God’s word declaring “Behold I’m doing a new thing, your going to have to see it to believe it. God’s splendid sense of humor allowing little old me to walk in liberating freedom of no regrets.  From one that masters an impeccable hind sight of 20/20, and rather quick to bemoan her lack of foresight to have ordered the soup of the day instead. Has found herself smack dab in the middle of a full blown miracle, shaking her head in joyful astonishment.

God’s grace is always sufficient in our time of need. Since God is no respecter of persons, what He did for me and my friend Michelle He wants to do for you. Whatever you may be contending with let God be your ever present help in times of trouble. Even if your faith is a little wobbly don’t you worry, your in good company…. so what do you say? lets go grab some front row seats and watch mountains be hurled into the sea, together.


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Lucky U

While anxiously waiting for my counseling appointment which I had extended an olive branch for a family member to attend, my hopes were high to come to a peaceful resolution.  It was time for the wise counseling of a professional to help  repair the severed relationship. Beginning the process of mending torn emotions to a place of strength and deeper healing.  Like tiny tears of muscle that pave the way to increased muscle mass, so too our relationship would optimistically be built up.  As my upcoming appointment drew near the prayer of King David in Psalms 139 :23-24 came to mind,  “Search me thoroughly O God, and know my heart ! Try me and know my thoughts. And see if there is any wicked or hurtful ways in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”   Longing that my heart would  stay on the  course of truth  joined hand and hand in love.

As the meeting came to a close, regretfully the outcome was not what we had hoped for. Deeply wrestling with discouragement the ride home was a somber one. Feeling an intensified and rather profound sense of loss, 2012 was closing its chapter to more sorrow then I had  ever bargained for. My mom’s congestive heart failure, increasing dementia, while also mourning  my only other sibling health challenges.  And now the golden thread of hope of restoration severed, swaying frayed and raw, making the approaching holidays more poignant with overwhelming sadness and grief.

Upon arriving safely at home I was greeted with a  rousing welcome from my loving husband, thoughtful son and two exuberant and lavishly affectionate dogs, Buddy and Buttons. My soul and body instantly sinking into a cozy place called home, their listening ears slowly warming my chilly spirits, thawing out the cold harsh situation. Shortly after our conversation the phone rang, it was Lawrence the husband of my dear friend Lisa from high school calling to plan a surprise for her birthday the following day. His cleverly devised plan was as follows….First, his limo driver would pick us up, then swing over to their house for the birthday girl, surprising her when she got inside with my unannounced presence.  After that, it was time to drive to the Chart House for Lawrence’s company party.  Photos were taken and hugs exchanged then off my husband and I went for over a two hour ride in the limo….all for free! Her husband’s generosity extending not only to his lovely wife but a gift to Kevin and I as well.

It’s safe to say that it’s been well over twenty six years since I have yearned to ride in a limousine with my husband. The odds never  looked good considering for twenty one of those years we have lived only on one income, while I stayed home, homeschooling our two boys, coupon clipping, bargain hunting and pinching pennies tell they squealed.  Honesty, that desire got placed so far on the back burner, I forgot it was still a simmering dream. However, God is mindful of our dormant dreams, His  word promising to give us the desires of our heart.  That same joy of watching my precious friend’s elation on her special day, so too God rejoices over us, watching our astonishment at His glorious celebration on our behalf. This was truly a magical night of sparkling cider toasts, birthday gifts and photos. Then the two of us riding in high style touring Christmas lights, gazing at twinkling stars and city lights from the heights of Rocky Butte. Finishing our glorious night eating at the same Denny’s where we first met after a college career church gathering… sharing french fries like we did thirty years ago. This wondrous adventure fulfilled in a Limo with the License plate,  “LUCKY  U”

Perhaps you too are struggling with a painful hurt or loss?  Do you feel like the chips are down and down on your luck?  May I encourage today with the promise of a God who knows your heart and heartache. He is a God that binds up the brokenhearted repairing and restoring them to wholeness.  His favor and grace resting on the broken and downtrodden. So, whether you find yourself in a luxury Limo ride or not, the Lord wants to bless you  knowing the secret petitions of your heart. This for sure, we serve a mighty God that daily loads His children with benefits.  With this profound  truth I lift my glass of sparkling cider with a toast in honor of a very highly favored and… LUCKY U